Dead Inside
by CandyAndYaoi
Summary: As Death, I can be agreeable, affable, and witty. But remember, I am not your friend. The reason you're reading this because you're looking for a story of some sort, yes? If you can stomach forced sexual acts, tragedy, and abuse please stay. Because this is the evidence that I exist, and that I am offering you one of the untold stories I have witnessed.Take a seat.(HikaKao) Oneshot


**WARNING: THIS HAS LEMON. BDSM. DARK THEMES (No happy end)  
**

**TRIGGER WARNING. I REPEAT. TRIGGER WARNING.**

A/N: Let me tell you, I have grown so used to writing SasuNaruSasu fanfiction that I accidentally placed 'Naruto' instead of 'Hikaru' when I reread this, and mispelled Kaoru with Karou so I quickly fixed that problem. This is a giftfic for my friend Kennedy (She's a huge fan of this pairing). Happy Birthday when you read this!

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Being alone is scary isn't it? It might not bother everyone but when a person is dying in anguish, they're scared, and they don't want to die alone.

When they do, it's supposed to be tragic, just like the movies, instead we walk forward playing ignorant because that's how we live, how we die.

Doesn't always necessarily mean we're content with the life we lead because of this attitude, in fact the human race is shameful.

They feel grief and regret when they pass by the homeless man that had been stabbed, bleeding out in the filthy alleyway. Not a single passerby spared a moment to crouch down to help him, but the sad thing was, children who are innocent to the core, were unfamiliar to harsh reality, were the only ones to voice the concern, but the parents just gripped their hands harder to pull the children away.

The innocent experiencing their first taste of what it meant to live as an adult.

An adult human must be a harsh, cold, unmoving mountain of steel.

But what do you care? You're just a human. One and the same.

Pathetic and naive.

Who am I to say this to you? Well, many humans fear me, I've been called the savior and the cause of pain.

Some humans gracefully float into my arms, waiting for me to guide them away as their soul fades to smoke, becoming a part of me, sharing the same emotion which is peace.

Not being human is blissful, I don't stop for a break, and I certainly don't take the moment to shed a tear when a human dies alone.

It's simply the way I feel and do things.

I can't help it, it's not like I am able to feel.

But I promise I'm not as bad as you must think I am.

I can be agreeable, affable, and charming, but I am not your friend.

Though I've been close.

But luckily for you I always stop, because if I touched your skin, you'd have died.

Aren't you grateful?

But forget about all that, I'm merely here to rehearse a story to you, that is what you're here for correct?

Well, sit quietly there, I suggest somewhere comfortable and private.

I'm not trying to be bossy as you may think, really.

I don't suggest you giving me anymore complaints, I just don't think you want to make me angry.

** Note**

** Regarding my previous suggestion, it wasn't a threat, so don't go. Not yet. This chapter was written and carried just for you. And I'll know if you read it or not. Take your time, for I am always near.**

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It started off with a human, more specific, a child.

But popular stories are always centering around a human. So this story should cater to your desires.

Now to further the details, it started with twins.

Both grow up to be well sculpted men of elegance. Though their personalities were contrasting to one another.

Separated though alike in uncanny ways.

Reunited with one another.

Falling in love.

Death.

Then grief.

I still remember it clearly. The air was so thick and sharp to breath at that moment. Glass had substituted the oxygen.

The sound of a heart giving out on the monitor, the only person by the dead patient's side was his brother.

But again, I realize that I should sound more empathetic since I am death, but please try to understand that having to pull out a thousand souls of waiting humans every minute of the day requires someone of hardened emotions. Human life is so short and fragile compared to how long I have lived, it makes me pity the human race.

To keep things rather mysterious, we'll be keeping first names only.

It'll keep things interesting.

Hikaru and Kaoru were both very young when separated. No older than three. In fact, they were separated on their birthday.

The day started out simple. An outing on a cruise ship with top rated chefs and quality.

Sea green ocean water crisp with wispy scents of salt.

The sun a welcoming beam of warmth to only end in tears.

During one of the heavy storms, Hikaru and Kaoru were playing a simple game of hide and go seek.

Kaoru was hiding behind one of the benches on the outside of the ship.

As you might be able to guess, he fell off the ledge and into the salty waters that mercilessly tackled him, dragging the lithe body into the blue abyss.

Oddly enough, Hikaru didn't cry. The parents did when. It was confirmed Kaoru had fallen off the cruise, most likely to have been knocked in onions when he fell, confirming that he must have drowned by the blood marks trailed from Kaoru's head.

All Hikaru thought in peace when he was informed of his brother's passing was -I- I'm alone again. With no one. -I-

It wasn't quite true. Hikaru had grown up distant, but he managed to nurture a devilish flirty side of himself to get what he wanted due to his flattering features he developed through puberty.

A softly chiseled jaw accompanied with a smirk, warm amber eyes with dabbles of lighter brown and flecks of black, alabaster skin, and a dangerously alluring voice.

Being rich also helped.

And smart.

And distant.

Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed the company women offered him, their soft breasts were soft at the gentlest of touches, hair often a soft velvet, and their voices were sweetly laced with happiness.

Hikaru took pleasure from the evident joy in his female companion's smiles, but every one of them ran away once he revealed a crack of his true nature.

Speaking honestly from my heart—Yes I have one—the core of his personality was frightening almost.

Gentleness wasn't his dominant characteristic, it was a illusion he wove over his sadistic lust that bled out occasionally if he didn't properly 'manage it'.

Being sadistic, Hikaru often went to extreme measures to keep his possessions tied to him until he is disappointed that his new toy turned out to be nothing at all. Every few weeks Hikaru would pick up a lost toy, play for a bit, then throw it away.

As the heir of his family's wealth, he was considered important, his family kept him new pets every week to maintain his happiness.

Kept him stable and satiate his liquid lust. Relieved his sexual beast that stirred constantly, intensely howling for something close and warm.

But it was never enough.

The empty hollow feeling always came back to him.

When his brother returned to him in cracked shape, you can imagine the joy in his face as he took pleasure in torturing him.

Not violently if that's that you think. No, he took care of him. He did.

Problem was, was that he commuted a sin that ended with a sin.

Of course his younger brother Kaoru was reluctant in the beginning, but his mentality was accommodating if not weak.

I've seen wild dogs fight till one lost with a tight grip of teeth embedded in one of their twig necks. Colorful streams of red stained the earthy crust below them.

A sound of a dropping body calls me forward, as I sweep the trembling soul into my warms, washing the pain away; fading it inside me, feeling nothing as I take on the pain it feels.

As death, my job is to be quick and effortless with carrying souls away, but it can result in problems. Too little times have I found myself wondering and curious of human behavior. But it's sometimes a nice treat; sometimes it isn't.

I recall during what you'd call the Second World War. To be fair and clear as to my moral balance, I am neutral, but even I can feel eagerness when I swept away the cause of it.

Really, how can humans be so stupid? But also brave.

Too many times I have seen mothers with a non-German child, carrying them to safety, only for them to die of sickness or malnutrition.

To be extremely clear this time, I find it fascinating and tragic watching the mother bury her young. Only because she doesn't stand there. She moves forward with soft sobs escaping her trembling figure.

Many times I ask myself, how can she move with that much grief?

Point is, humans amaze me from time to time.

At the moment I sit by the window where Hikaru was certainly happier than he was now.

"Quietly." He would warn in the timbre of his sadistic voice, watching his blood-brother nearly keen over as he attempted to settle the tea softly on the mahogany table.

"Yes, young Master." He'd reply with a spineless tone. Just to tease him a bit further, Hikaru took it upon himself to trace the outline of the smooth pink langerie that hugged softness of his bottom.

"Good." His word stretched as his finger circled around his taint, Karou knew better than to clutch his cheeks in resistance. It was a smart decision to allow Hikaru to as he pleased, because as I have witnessed, Hikaru was feral beast in rage when things don't go as planned.

"Tell me what you want." Hikaru asked, mildly amused but mostly pleased his brother was behaving.

Kaoru finished serving the tea and stood straight up, the teasing toy lodged inside of him pressed further on his prostate, rubbing hot sensations into his buckling knees.

"...If you could..." Kaoru swallowed heavily, forcing himself to take a dangerous step forward.

"I'd like the toy out."

The room was a vacuum at this point, sucking the air out of the room when Hikaru gave a thin smile that I deemed dangerous.

"As in outside?" His hand pulled away from the soft flesh surrounded by lace.

Kaoru shook his head gently.

"You're going to have to be specific then."

"The toy inside of me... I'd like it out... Please young master." The voice reminded me of a mouse, scared and alone when facing an enemy.

Chuckling a little, he faked consideration, he had been planning for his brother to plead for mercy, his thumb stroking the knob of the remote slowly.

"But why? It feels good doesn't it?" His teeth gleamed mischievously.

"Yes, but I haven't... Been allowed to cum all day with it inside... It hurts..." Kaoru managed to say, his voice pitching slightly.

"Well perhaps that just means I'm displeased with you." Hikaru stood up, just barely taller than his younger look alike.

"Then what can I do... To please you?"

As the only calm observer, I could dutifully say that Kaoru's choice of words were extremely poor because of the circumstances.

"Well... The lingerie you're wearing pleases me, it compliments your smooth alabaster skin." His hand stroked his brother's thigh.

"Just like marble." He sighed in admiration of the ravishing texture of skin.

"Thank you..."

Hikaru sat back down, only with his legs spread.

With a licentious twist to his face, his hand gestured for Kaoru, which he fell to his knees and crawled weakly towards his brother and settled himself between Hikaru's legs, already understanding what was to come, reaching for the zipper that concealed the soft bulge of the eager sex.

"Did I say you could touch me yet?" The older sibling questioned, warning his brother with disappointment and anger decorating his growl.

Immediately shaking his head, Kaoru could only dare to stare at his Master's feet.

In a much softer tone, Hikaru played with Kaoru's hair "I'm quite delighted you want to attend my needs, but don't do anything I don't give you permission to, alright my pet?"

"Yes Master... I'm sorry." The shaking figure was pitiful, in its trembling form.

Hikaru didn't say a word. Almost disturbingly, he freed his bulging length that stood proudly up, the slit weeping of precum, physical evidence of his need to take his submissive brother. To Kaoru's temporary relief, his brother stopped the vibration in him.

Unexpectedly, Hikaru slapped the firm, moist length against Kaoru's cheek.

Kaoru felt his stomach flip wildly at the action. Inhaling the intoxicating pungent scent of Hikaru's blushing sex, he fought the urge to lick his lips when the drops of precum covered his lips.

He wasn't commanded to do anything but stay there.

Hikaru softly traced the skin of Kaoru's neck, almost tempted to bite it by the way Kaoru's eyes pleaded to taste his head.

Feeling much more enthusiastic, Hikaru whipped his turgid length Karou's chin as an attempt to tease him, which was working quite well.

Hikaru couldn't find the explanation why he decided to humiliate his toy like this when he had never done so before to previous ones. Often, he'd torture them, then fuck them, then throw them away without a single lingering thought.

Perhaps it's was because Karou was his brother, his shadow. Which made this entire thing special.

With the thought of his brother enjoying the humiliation, Hikaru found satisfaction once his brother's face was decorated with gleams of his pleasure.

"Open." He demanded, prodding at Kaoru's eager lips before his brother had time to respond. Cupping the back of Karou's soft head, he forced himself into the mouth in a violent manner, the crown of his cock finding comfort in Kaoru's undulating throat.

The man being forced groaned in slight pain, calming himself to avoid choking or vomiting. Tears sprang up from his eyes, taking deep breaths of Hikaru's heady aroma was erotic and calming.

Although his mouth was filled with pulsing heat that was eager, Kaoru found his tongue rubbing against the veins that decorated the throbbing organ, his body shaking out of desire to please his brother.

Aroused with need, Kaoru explored the organ with salacious twists and rolls. The twitching of the length was out of appreciation, the precum that he tasted was salty, bitter, and musky.

Hikaru's grip on Kaoru's locks tightened when he began to fill slightly back to give Kaoru access to his head, groaning from the swirls of his swift tongue.

Pushing forward again with the flex of his hips brought on piercing pleasure in his loins, encouraging him to repeat.

Selfishly, Hikaru fucked Kaoru's face with eager abandon, his hips jerking faster with each strike of pleasure that built slowly.

Tears streamed freely down Kaoru's face with the repeated choking by the thick flesh. His hands clutched Hikaru's thighs out of pain, begging him silently to slow down. Hikaru took this hint and apologized with a gentle massage to his head, and a slowly decreased his speed before he finally pulled away, and ceased the massaging.

Hikaru offered Kaoru a pleased smile which sent tingles of pride in Karou for pleasing him.

"You're getting better at that." He sighed, catching his breath. He could have taken the chance to tease his brother of perhaps having another affair with another man, but Hikaru chose not to, he didn't want to scare off his toy.

"Only because you've done a good job teaching me."

"Yes I suppose that's true." Hikaru reached for the cooled tea and sipped, finding his sex still seeking satisfaction.

With a smirk, Hikaru pinched Kaoru's chin to tilt his head so they're faces would be facing each other.

"But you failed at satisfying me." His warm eyes glared darkly, his small smile became cruel and dark.

"Get in your knees,"

Kaoru's face fell as he follows the orders immediately out of fear.

The lacy thong that nestled itself around his sack and begging hole was slid off. Anticipation was in the air as he waited for sown thing to happen. A spanking, a bite, or the vibrator inside of him ripped out, but nothing came as he patiently waited.

Instead, a soft hand glided on his reddened skin from an earlier spanking.

The touch was soothing and pleasurable to a tingly extent. "Such a pretty piece of work. You cried beautifully this morning." Hikaru reminisced calmly, focusing on stroking the sensitive flesh that brought out needy moans of his weak brother.

"So as a reward for taking your orders and punishment so obediently, you can choose today what you'd like." At times Hikaru was generous as he could be with his twisted personality, but often times these opportunities were just a game of how to mutilate a good innocent request into something completely different.

Karoru only mumbled under his breath. "Sleeping..."

"Hmm? What was that? I couldn't hear you." Hikaru asked, his thumb hooked around the miniature handle on the vibrator, jerking his arm to violently slide it out of the moist, gaping hole that blushed warm pink.

Nearly buckling down, Kaoru spoke louder in a panicked tone "I want to sleep beside Master in bed!"

Silence followed. It wasn't the teasing kind anymore. The room was a huge vacuum to Hikaru now.

Just sleeping? That was it? He should have felt disappointment, not some strange warmth that invaded his chest like a disease.

As a observer of humans, I already understood what the cause of his reaction was. Growing up with no sense of companionship is harsh for children, Hikaru grew up foreign to the warmth of parents and friends.

Lovers were a joke to him.

"No." Hikaru nipped his inner thigh. He nipped again until he saw blood.

"You don't deserve that much." No one deserved his companionship. He was fine by himself. Being alone was the best thing for him because he hated how people talked about him. How he and his brother were treated the same when they were children.

It pleased him to no end to see his brother groveling at his feet like some dirty peasant.

Kaoru screeched pathetically at the sudden bite, the pain blossomed around the injured skin, promising a bruise to appear the next few days.

Tugging Kaoru's hair upwards he said "Come here." And gestured the top of his lap.

Whether it was an act of defiance or obedience, he immediately moved forward and fought the apprehension he felt in his limbs, lowering himself gently on his lap, his poise disguising his uncertainty, to make himself appear fearless when he was trembling vigorously on the inside.

Hikaru's hand smoothed over Kaoru's back, which enabled a giggle or two from him.

Finding the small moment of laughter adorable, Hikaru leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Kaoru's forehead before his hands settled on to his hips, stroking the unmarred skin with appreciation. No words were exchanged after this, only actions and moans.

With his weight settled comfortably on Hikaru's lap, Kaoru timidly rested his arms on his shoulders and shyly glanced to Hikaru's amber eyes, which glowed a fiery lust, waiting for further instructions.

The calloused hands of Hikaru's slowly dug crescent shapes into the skin, enjoying the idea of a mark left on Kaoru because he could.

Studying Kaoru's gentle, but submissive face, Hikaru lifted Kaoru up gently, his hips rolling upwards to tease Kaoru's hole by rubbing his sex around it.

Kaoru whimpered desperately, his hips betraying his control finally and thrust upward, his penis was a bright red, blushing prettily and dripping with liquid desire. It was the unrelenting instinct for completion that drove Kaoru to beg with his body.

Watching with amusement, Hikaru eventually decided to reward his pretty pet with his length by pulling the lithe hips down to his aching organ.

Sharp cries escaped Kaoru's lips, his hips bucking back in need for stimulation.

Slowly, Hikaru's hand drifted to Kaoru's soft backside and curved just at the cleft of his soft mounds, stroking the skin to tease the delirious man.

"Enjoying yourself?" He questioned with enjoyment "Aren't you quite the slut." He stated.

Kaoru's was dazed at the pleasure, the closeness of how the pleasure and pain burned together with the minimum lube left from the vibratory, so all he could do was agree with his Master.

Nodding eagerly "Yes Master! Thank you!"

Laughing slightly, Hikaru flexed his hips upwards, Kaoru cried out once again in unrestrained pleasure.

Soon, Hikaru moved at a beastly pace, no pattern, no slowness, just need.

There wasn't ever a gentle crescendo, no patient rise to the peak of this pleasure.

This wasn't lovemaking, it was white hot ecstasy which ripped Kaoru from the real world by drowning him him dangerous waves of sinful indulgence.

Howls escaped from him, his own body responded eagerly by thrusting back against Hikaru's pumping hips.

The thrusts soon grew wilder and unimaginably harder than ever before. The pleasure forced Kaoru to roll his eyes from the blistering sensations that drowned any thoughts and resistance.

The ricocheted moans and howls of the two figures reached echoed in the room, making them aware of how intense the moment was. Hikaru angled his thrusts to rub against the soft prostate which Karou arched his back, hot ribbons of his cum shot out, spraying his own chest and neck.

The right walls of muscle that surrounded Hikaru's sex clenched, pulling him in slightly which brought he perfect amount of pain to highlight the burning adrenaline he felt as he fucked his brother.

With a final thrust, his hips tensed as his frustrations spilled into Karou's eager hole.

Slumping for a moment, Hikaru shoved off Kaoru once he began to feel Kaoru wrap his arms around Hikaru.

"Don't touch me." He raged in fury, almost close to slapping his disgusting brother.

"But I-" Kaoru attempted to explain that he only wanted to help his brother since he Kaoru had observed the way Hikaru held himself. When Kaoru was growing up in the orphanage, he had the sense of community and companionship, it was clear to him Hikaru was devoid of any such luxury. Hikaru had been alone the entire time.

No one to comfort him when he was upset. Kaoru just wanted to ease the agony for Hikaru, which was why he submitted without much protest.

"Don't talk to me you filthy _saukerl!_" He snapped, using the language he picked up during his time on Germany for high school.

Wounded, Kaoru pulled his hand away from Hikaru, feeling pathetic indeed from the cum that began slipping out, dripping down his thigh as he watched his brother storm out the room, sharp sounds of vases shattering was the proof of his fury.

To comfort himself, he curled up on the cold floor, feeling nothing but loneliness and pain.

Falling asleep, feeling cold.

Quietly, I covered him with a blanket and exited out the window.

As death, I don't get breaks, nor do I ever have the choice to refuse a dying person.

As a being that does not disappear, I mastered the ability to forget unpleasant things and people, so when I am confronted with spending a second time, it takes but a moment to recall the past memory I held before.

The last time I had seen Kaoru was when he was experiencing despair and regret on the frigid floor, losing the soft flicker of life inside every human.

This was three years ago.

So when I stand in front of a pool of blood, a knife, and a nearly dead body, I can make the safe assumption it was suicide.

Instead of swiftly taking Kaoru's soul into paradise, I watched him. And he watched me.

The soft running became louder, the doors burst open to show Hikaru shocked, horrified, and grieving.

Slowly, I inched closer to Kaoru, petting his head, praising him for lasting as long as he did before I gently lifted him from his hollow body.

His soul already very damaged, I began to comfort him, healing the wounds before I sent him into me, the gateway to the afterlife where I am certain he would ascend to heaven.

Watching the kneeling twin boy hold the corpse of his brother I knew I'd be seeing Hikaru very soon, but he wouldn't be joining his brother in heaven. It was my job to send his soul to hell.

**Future reference**

**I exited the room once again, heading towards you my dear reader.**


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